Tuesday December 17, 2002

     Well today was a chill day I guess.  I mean I really didn’t do anything today but help my mom make dinner.  But I still think about what was said yesterday during the prayer.  I know that everyone only wants the best for me and that what they do is for my best.  But what happened with Mervyns was sad I got over it and well now its just time for me to chill and see where things go.  I’m not exactly sure where I see myself and what I plan on doing.  Alls I know is that in Jan I will start school again and pursue a career in psychology.  If only everything were that easy.  I mean esp. with the situation that I am in.  I want the best for my family and I can’t seem to do that right now.  And on top of that I am still confused in where I see myself.  Life is something that I am thankful for but at times it feels that life has no meaning and that everything has come to an end.  But with the support of my family I knew that everything will work itself out and that time will tell.  I may at times be in a hurry to get places and to do things but to be honest I am not ready to go into the world with the knowledge that I have.  Maybe if I give myself a chance and open up to the one and only everything else will find its place.  I know at times I can be very stubborn and pig-headed about things but I only do it because I have no other way of dealing with it.  Family is very important to me and I only thank my GOD for everything that he has blessed me with.  I really couldn’t ask for anything more and I know that they are the ones who will always be there.  It is very important that I have friends but I can truly count on my family for everything.  It’s been a rough journey so far but I know that in the future things will get better and if not I will always have my family.  So this my friends is were I leave you with a message…”Remember that your family is very important so cherish the time you spend with them, cause you really don’t know when its your time…” 

Friday December 13, 2002

Today was a pretty chill day.  I was all hella happy today that i got paid and ish like that, but it was chill that i got to kick it with the homies today.  its been a while since we have ever chilled together all at the same time.  but yea it was koo....tracy and i went shopping today with intensions of getting just a cell but i ended up with the support of tracy buying shoes and this scarf thingy which is pretty chill.  so yea after that we met up with felicia and chilled at dennys for like the longest and talked about nothin but sex sex and ohh yea SEX!!!  it was all hella crazy esp with all the ghetto people outside chillin and kickin it like no lifes...but hey who cares.  and that is pretty much all that happened to make a long stroy short...we all had fun and now its time to got to sleep and see what happens tomorrow at Mervyn's.

much love, respect and happiness

AT

Wednesday December 12, 2002

         I’ve had a fairly good day today.  I mean considering what happened yesterday anything else could be much better.  What was going through my head?  It sure wasn’t worth it and now I have to pay the consequences.  I thank god that my punishment isn’t as bad but its still a punishment.  I only pray that everything goes well on Saturday.  All I can do now is just wait and pray that everything goes accordingly.  Ever since the 7^th I really had thought about what happened and now its come back to get me.  Its only fair that they do let me go but I hope and pray that they find it in their hearts to keep me and just put me on some sort of probation because I like what I do and I don’t want to ruin it.  I know its to late to change what happened but I know that I am sorry for the lost I caused and I can only hope for the best and be thankful that the punishment isn’t going to be on my record.  All I have to do now is send in the payment and just wait for Saturday, for on Saturday lies my fate and everything else.  But besides that I have had a real good day today.  Not only did I register for my classes but also my financial aid went through and it paid for my classes.  And now all I have to pay is $35.00 for parking and my student service card.  So that made my day and I can’t be any happier.  Although I had a bad day yesterday things are truly looking up for me and I know that once the New Year rolls around I should be able to get back on my feet and do what I have always wanted.  I know I was suppose to go out tonight but its all hella chill and now I can just kick back relax and try to get some other things out the way.  To be honest I really didn’t want to go anywhere but it’s all gravee.  Life as I knew it is now changing for the best and all I can look forward to is whatever lies ahead and look to god for praise.  I’m listening to what a friend we have in Jesus and it all makes sense and it really would make a difference in my life if I did take everything to god in prayer.  So yeah, all I have to say now is to keep my head up and look to god in prayer for he will lead me down the path of righteousness.  I should have thought about this much earlier before I did what I did but now I am willing to accept anything that comes my way, whatever it may be.